Reality TV

So, just the other day, together we admitted that we’d read fan fiction. And some admitted that we’d written it. So, let’s keep pulling skeletons out of the closet, together!

Reality TV shows. Who stays up late at night to watch their favorite reality show that they had to DVR because their spouse or partner thinks they’re ridiculous? My hand is up. Do I see yours, too?

I think Survivor was the first reality TV show I got hooked on. I caught the show from the very first episode and loved it. Those first few seasons were rough! Those people had nothing but a little bit of rice and you could see the bones starting to protrude before the middle of the season was even reached. Richard and Rudy and Susan and Kelly remain some of my all time favorite contestants. The later seasons when it became a strategy to keep the least likeable person around until the final three in order to be up against someone no one would vote for it was a great game. Not so fond of the later seasons. Best moment ever had to be Johnny Fairplay duping everyone with the fake dead grandmother story. Classic!!!

About fifteen years ago I was really sick. It was a raging sinus infection and double ear infection and I thought I was gonna die. I slept ten minutes here, ten minutes there because I couldn’t breathe and I was miserable. I could barely get out of bed at all. I was watching a movie and then at some point in my dozing a marathon started on TV. It was the America’s Next Top Model marathon. I was too sick to care, or to change the channel, so it stayed on. To my horror I found that after a season or two I started to care. I watched that marathon for like three straight days.

From there it was all down hill for me. I was a huge American Idol fan for the first five seasons. I tried out So, You Think You Can Dance but only made it through the first two seasons. The competition shows just weren’t reeling me in anymore. But they were the Gateway and soon I was on to the Hard Core stuff. I watched The Surreal Life. If you’ve never seen this particular train wreck I can highly recommend it. People like MC Hammer and the kids from Diff’rent Strokes (whatchoo talkin’ about, Willis?) and Peter Brady and Flava Flave all stuffed into a house together with different challenges to do. O.M.G. the brilliance…. Mini-Me riding around the house on his scooter in the middle of the night, drunk off his little butt, peeing in the corner in the hallway… I was riveted.

Does it count as moving on to bigger and better things if my next show was Little Women? I started with Little Women LA, which was my favorite, but also watched Little Women Dallas, and Little Women Atlanta. Those little women are NUTS. Tara- how controlling and mean can you get? Brianna – OMG, the bum magnet on her is amazing, her husband Matt? ARGH! Kristy – holy cow, girl, just tell the truth for once and people won’t hate on ya so much! They were an insane little posse and I loved them.

Equally obsessionable is Dance Moms. Abby Lee Miller; what can I even say about her? One minute I loved her, the next minute I hated her, but the mothers… WOW… It’s amazing any of those kids escaped without serious damage. Maybe none of them did.

The mother of all reality franchises now is, of course, 90 Fiance. They have several versions airing now – regular 90 Day Fiance. 90 Day Fiance, The Other Way. 90 Day Fiance, What Now? 90 Day Fiance, Happily Ever After. Pillowtalk! Who can resist seeing Colt and Larissa’s trainwreck, with his mother Debbie smack in the middle? Or Sumit and Jenny, the 60 year old woman who moved to India to be with her 30 year old boyfriend only to find out that he was already IN an arranged marriage??? How is it possible that I’m starting to LIKE Andrei? How could brother, Chuck have made such a butt of himself that even Andrei looks good?

My husband has probably already uttered the word, “Idiot” a half dozen times reading this.

One night, years ago I was sitting up late at night, just couldn’t get to sleep and I was flipping around the station trying to find something mind-numbing to watch. I came across a show called, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”. Up until that moment I’d truly thought Honey Boo Boo was something the minds of South Park created. Remember the episode with Cartman and the “tip assist” scooters? I thought South Park created Honey Boo Boo. Honest to God I had no idea that was a real child and I don’t think I slept at all that night. I was terrified.

I won’t watch Big Brother. Why? I don’t know. I am truly not sure what causes me to be a Reality Snob about that one but even to me it just seems somehow…. dumb. Like the dull cousin no one wanted to play with, or the scrawny kid picked last for the team.

So, next time you’re sitting up late, watching those DVR’d shows… know that you are not alone!

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